BILLY’S POEM
by Billy Ayis
Sometimes I wonder
Sometimes I ponder
As I hear the thunder
That you are not leading me asunder
You say you have me under your sword
But still Lord I don’t feel assured
You say all I have to do is to follow your word
But what it says is out of this world
You say you won’t let me spill blood
But a lot has already reached the mud
You say you are very near
Then why do I still fear
You say my burdens are yours to bear
But even now I shed a tear
You told me you guard my very rear
But my back Lord has been pierced with a spear
I obeyed and walked the straight and narrow
Only to make myself a target for the arrow
If I had a wider road to walk on
Then I would have had more ground to dodge on
You assured me of a blissful tomorrow
Yet now I feel real sorrow
It’s so hard for me to swallow
Without feeling pain down my marrow
I’ve tried
And I’ve cried
Presently I am tired
Feeling so expired
Maybe there’s something I didn’t do
Or somewhere I didn’t go
Maybe there’s something I didn’t say
Or a price I didn’t pay
May be the sorrows of today
Is but a past in constant replay
Maybe I ain’t worshiping you right
Or said my prayers well at night
Maybe you’re here in your power and might
And you’re training me for the final fight
Maybe you still have me in your sight
Even though you still let me take a bite
I guess someday all will turn bright
Then I’ll know I’m really in your light
Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been deceived
Or if I even really believed
But all the same I guess I still believe
Because you Lord can’t deceive
I guess my blessing I’m still to receive
Even though it’s closeness I can’t perceive
I will still believe in you Lord
Because to me you are the only God
Someday my mind will become tame
And stop thinking I’m in a game
But as long as the sky remains blue
I guess I will be worshiping you